There is no simple secret to achieving excellence as an attorney. However, one essential characteristic is that all accomplished attorneys possess is having the right mental attitude. We are personally and professionally obligated to be the best we can be in representing clients who rely upon us. The first step in becoming an accomplished attorney involves the process of developing the right mental attitude. We begin that process by accepting the fact that our imitations are self-imposed.  It is not someone else or something else holding us back from improvement. It’s what we tell ourselves and believe that becomes our reality. The lyrics in the Eagles song “Already Gone” is right. “…So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains. And we never know we have the key.”

The most important thing we can do is to learn to know ourselves. That was the teaching of Plato. His pupil Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Understanding our created attitudes and core values is fundamental to personal growth. We need to identify the attitudes holding us back from personal and professional improvement. As human beings, we have a multitude of mental and character limitations. We must start with an honest self-evaluation of what mental or emotional restrictions we have created that are keeping us from our full potential. Some of the more common fears and limiting attitudes include the following.

1. Concern about  Authenticity

One of the problems we commonly have is our concern about revealing our true inner selves to others. When we act like someone we aren’t, we are seen as having questionable credibility by clients, judges, and juries. Shakespeare has Polonius giving advice to his son: “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” You’ve heard or read this advice before, but have you made a sincere effort to be the authentic person you really are instead of trying to impress other people?

What is meant by authenticity? It generally means talking and acting in a way that is consistent with your core values and sense of purpose. Being authentic involves acting consistently, honestly, and not pretending to be or act like someone else. We know that to be believed, we must be trustworthy. To be trustworthy, we must be honest about who we really are. We began, therefore, with the fact that honesty is always the best policy. Billy Joel got it right when he sang, “Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.” The personality we present, and our interior honesty are an essential part of becoming an authentic person. We know that we are guilty of making false and misleading statements from time to time in one way or another. But honesty is a basic characteristic of good character and truthfulness. What could be more valuable in our profession than a reputation for being honest and truthful?

While we may not be aware of it, many of us have a fear of being honest and truthful because we don’t want people to know how we really feel. As a result, we are untruthful and pretend to be someone we aren’t. The truth is that it is more power by being honest than to be untruthful. Trying to conceal the negative issues through deception and lies only invites ultimate discovery in a devastating manner. Sir Walter Scott’s epic poem Marmion accurately warned: “Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice deceiving.” Honesty promotes peace of mind from guilt and the concern that our deception and duplicity will be discovered. 

1. Concern about Failure

The most prevalent fear is concern about failure. The first step in dealing with this concern is to accept the fact that it is normal to have a fear of failure. The reality, however, is that life is experienced as a constant, never-ending shift between successes and failures. To be human is to experience failure. An important step in dealing with this concern is to prepare in advance. The more prepared you are for a challenge, the less apprehension. Knowing your subject matter and being fully prepared in advance enhances your courage.

Part of the fear of failure involves worrying that you will be embarrassed or look foolish. No one wants to look foolish or make mistakes. However, when we focus on concerns about how others will see us, our focus is not on our performance. It is about how we look to others. This makes us nervous, anxious and fearful about appearance instead of focusing on performance. Let’s remember Teddy Roosevelt’s famous speech with this advice:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

• Concerns From Our Negative Attitudes.

The things we say to ourselves have the same impact as if someone were repeatedly saying it. In Paradise Lost, John Milton wrote: “the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.” Self-defeating talk reduces our confidence, diminishes our performance, and lowers our potential for success. Nor should we let other people impose negative attitudes on us. Accept good advice, but don’t let other people define who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing. 

One of the most common ways of creating negative attitudes is by unfavorably comparing yourself to others in a negative way. A valid comparison with anyone else is impossible because we have different skills and abilities. Our comparison should be our performance compared to our capacity to be better than we are.  Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes and achievements with determination to do better. Analyze your experiences, good or bad, and learn from them, but move on when it’s over. Don’t dwell on the past.

The Concern About Leaving Our Comfort Zone

The concern about leaving our comfort zone is the feeling that staying in our comfort zone will keep us safe. When we are asked to “take a leap of faith,” it produces anxiety and leads to fear of change. This concern is closely related to the fear of failure and our desire to be perfect. Ask yourself, “What would I be willing to try if I had no fear”? Accepting uncertainty is part of the growth process. This concern about leaving your comfort zone results in feeling that the best way to avoid the pain of failure is not to take risks. Yet, risk-taking is the only way to accomplish improvement and growth.

Doing what you have always done produces the same results. Because failure is often a part of change, change becomes threatening to us. Concern about leaving our comfort is connected to self-doubt. Instead of building self-esteem and self-confidence, it causes fear of trying new things. To overcome this fear, by breaking down the issue into small steps. Conquer the little fears first and build on those successes. Create a strategy for implementing your ability to be willing to act outside of your comfort zone. Get advice from mentors. Model the way others have accomplished the issue that is a challenge for you to attempt. Build courage by focusing on the benefits. Then begin with small changes of improvement and as you develop confidence, move on to the next step.. Take that first small step and then another until you learn to deal with this kind of fear.

• Concern About Criticism

Concern about the criticism of others can be our own worst enemy. Worry about criticism is intimidating and drains a person of self-confidence. It encourages us to “play it safe” and is often the reason for our failure to succeed. We worry about trying something new because we are afraid of what others may say or think. As a result, we go back to the way we’ve always done it, which is comfortable for us. Instead of progressing, we remain right where we’ve always been.. Learn to react to criticism without letting it determine your life.  Prepare for it by learning to stay calm and evaluate how accurate it is. Remember, constructive criticism can make you a better person, while destructive criticism has no value. Don’t let other people determine your path to greatness. Someone has said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” 

                                    CONCLUSION

Successful attorneys have outstanding mental attitudes. Like everyone else, they have concerns and fears, but they have learned to deal with them effectively. They have discovered and identified the personal mental changes of attitude that they have needed to change in order to achieve success. Make the effort to do the same and become the successful attorney you were called to become